


Simon in the Bathroom

by martinamarier



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: I had to write this, M/M, and i can't promise a happy ending, but i apologize in advance, i know its sad, i might be writing a sequel, it goes more with the movie than the book, just to lift everyone's spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-19 21:06:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14245755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martinamarier/pseuds/martinamarier
Summary: Sure, I've had a few drinks, but I'm almost 100% sure that Bram Greenfeld is Blue, it makes so much sense.-OR-Simon walks in on Bram making out with a girl and curses himself for being so quick to think a boy like Bram Greenfeld would be into him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my sister got me into be more chill recently and as soon as i listened to 'michael in the bathroom' for the hundredth time, i got this idea. basically, instead of simon prepping himself in the bathroom before he sees bram, he locks himself in there after. enjoy?

When I agreed to come to Bram Greenfeld’s Halloween party, I assumed it was going to be filled with straight couples grinding while spilling alcohol all over each other. I guess to an extent I was right, but I’m having more fun than I expected. 

Cute Bram was the only one who knew what my costume was. I’ve interacted more with him tonight than I have since freshman year which makes me regret never talking to him much before. He’s funny in his own soft, quiet way and it kind of feels like he’s been waiting for me to come to one of his parties.

That might just be the alcohol.

He asked me if I wanted to play a drinking game with him, so I grabbed Abby and Martin to go against us. I don’t remember the name of it, but Martin used his creepy German accent to say it so maybe it was German. I don’t know. All I know is that I need another drink.

I walk over to the kitchen and stumble into Leah. 

“Slow down there dude. Are you getting another drink?”

I nod a little and look behind her at the bottles. “I don’t know why I haven’t had this stuff before. It’s incredible.”

“Yeah, alright. Don’t do anything stupid tonight, Si.”

“Bram and I have a handshake,” I blurt as I walk around her and struggle to open another can of beer. 

She raises an unimpressed eyebrow and takes the can from me. “Cool, Si, that’s really cool. Here’s your last beer.”

I pout and grab the cup from her. “Thanks, Mom.”

She starts walking backwards and shakes her head. “Nice singing up there by the way, you two should make an album.”

Oh yeah, I might have gotten up in front of everybody and sang a Justin Bieber song with Cute Bram. I love Halloween.

I find an open spot on the couch next to Garrett and plop down. He’s leaning back and holding a cup of his own while I take a sip from mine. “Spier! How’s it hangin’ my man?” He nudges me with his elbow and I smile even though he made me spill some beer on my pants. I think it’s hard to frown when you’re drunk.

“I’m doin’ good,” I slur.

“That’s good bro! Hey, lemme tell ya somethin’.” He leans closer to me and I do the same, suddenly interested but engulfed by the strong scent of alcohol on his breath. “You know my guy Bram, right? I saw y’all up there breakin’ it down.”

I don’t know if it’s the beer or the fact that he’s talking about Bram and I together, but my cheeks get pink. I nod in response.

“Of course you do. I have some top secret information that is goin’ to make your brain explode. Are you ready?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply. “He totally has a crush on you. Like major heart eyes and clammy hands.”

I cough awkwardly and try to think of an excuse to get up, but I come up short. “You’re thinking of someone else.”

“Spier. Bro. I get vibes from both of you.”

I don’t know what vibes he’s talking about, but I either want to explode with excitement or just explode. The only problem is that the beers are catching up to me and I’m not sure if I can stand without assistance. Garrett passed out after sharing his “top secret” information with me, but now I have the sudden urge to find Bram. 

Everything that happened tonight makes so much sense. He complimented my costume, invited me to play a game with him, took my glasses off so that I could see better, and kept making sure I was comfortable. Bram is Blue. He has to be.

I stand up with some help from the arm of the couch and a stranger’s shoulder and set my cup down. I don’t feel as light as I did before, just determined and focused. Nick passes me in the living room and I grab his arm. “Have you seen Bram?”

“Yeah, he went upstairs a few minutes ago. First door on the left. Why?”

“Nothing,” I say as I let go of him. “I just have to tell him something.”

He shrugs as I make my way down a hallway and look up the monstrous staircase. This could be a recipe for disaster. I grab onto the railing with both hands and pull myself up the steps one at a time. After stumbling once or twice, I stand in front of the bedroom door and take a deep breath before opening it.

“Bram I have t-” I stop. 

I catch her eye before I can see him. She’s straddling his waist as he sits on the edge of the bed with a hand on her back. He doesn’t even open his mouth, just leans to the side to see me and looks at her.

“Sorry,” I say as I place my hand back on the doorknob. I know the alcohol is wearing off when I picture myself running down the stairs and all the way home. “I thought this was the bathroom. My bad.”

“The bathroom is behind you,” says the girl, who I can’t say I’ve ever seen before. She’s dressed like a Minion from that ridiculous movie which seems fitting. “What are you supposed to be? Jesus?”

I look at Bram who looks like a deer in headlights. “John Lennon.”

“Oh. Okay well… close the door on your way out.”

I break eye contact with him as I mutter another apology and turn around facing the surprisingly unoccupied bathroom. I flip the light switch and walk in while shutting the door and locking it behind me.

I’m so stupid. So, so, so incredibly and utterly stupid. 

Who listens to drunk guys dressed like Michael Phelps who they barely even know?

I turn to look at myself in the mirror and let out a laugh. Of course he wouldn’t be into me. This stupid wig is mangled and matted and there’s a stain on my white pants. I should’ve just cut holes in a sheet. 

The music downstairs is blaring and the bass vibrates my entire body. There’s no way I’m going back out there. Garrett probably woke up by now and is telling all of his friends, including Nick, how he made theater nerd Simon Spier think soccer star Bram Greenfeld had a crush on him. Funny joke, bro.

I pull the wig off and toss it in the trash can beside the sink along with the flimsy circle glasses Leah found in my closet. I was Harry Potter in sixth grade. 

After splashing some water in my face, I look at myself again and notice the wetness growing under my eyes, holding onto the countertop. Jesus Christ. Someone knocks on the door and I close my eyes. “It’s occupied.”

“Simon?”

Abby. “Uh, yeah.” I try my best to sound okay at the least. I don’t want her to worry. “I’ll be out in a second.”

 

“Alright! Sorry I interrupted, that’s awkward.” She giggles and I slide down the wall, bringing my knees to my chest. 

My friends are probably having the best time tonight. That’s what you’re supposed to do at high school parties, right? Grab a few drinks, find someone to make out with, play some games. Why can’t I do that?

Why can’t I just be normal? 

It’s so easy for straight people. There’s no need to try and determine who’s into what gender; if somebody’s into you, they aren’t afraid to make out with you in a crowded room. I wish I could be like that. 

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and check my notifications. Nothing. Blue hasn’t talked to me all day. He’s probably here. Or he’s at home having a way better time than I am. I hope he is. 

I’m pathetic. 

What made me think that listening to Garrett and going upstairs to interrupt Bram and whatsherface was a good idea? The alcohol must have gone to my brain. Bram Greenfeld is a jock. He might be sweet and beautiful and have the most amazing hands, but he’s a jock. Jocks don’t date boys who obsess over musical theater and dress up like John Lennon. Jocks don’t date boys. 

If they do, they don’t tell anyone. 

I sniffle as I lean my head back against the bathroom wall and wipe under my eyes with my jacket sleeve. This is so stupid. 

I’m sitting on the floor of Bram’s bathroom at one of the biggest parties of the year and I’m crying because of somebody who doesn’t want to meet me. I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to meet me either if I knew how much of a sensitive loser I am. 

Scoffing and crying is all I know how to do right now. This situation is so freaking ridiculous, but of course I’m overthinking every little thing. I always do. Nobody seems to be worried about where I am because the only notifications I have are from my mom who reminds me not to drive drunk. She included a bunch of statistics, but I’m not taking the time to read them.

I just want to be at home, in my bed, and listening to music. I don’t want to have to worry about anyone seeing me like this. 

I want to talk to Blue.

He’s the only one who I could rant to about tonight. Besides the whole I-thought-Bram-was-you part. 

“Si! You still in there?”

Of course she came back and of course she brought Nick. I stand up and don’t bother taking another look in the mirror as I open the door, though I probably should have judging by the look on Abby’s face.

“What happened? Are you okay? Did somebody hurt you?”

“Abby, I’m fine.” 

Nick rests a hand on her back and gives me a concerned look. “Are you sure, dude? No offense, but you look rough.”

“Yeah. I had like, too many beers. So.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, we’re ready to go if you are. Leah’s in the car.”

I nod and move around them to make my way downstairs. As I shove through the congested rooms, somebody grabs my shoulder. “Simon… hey, I’m sorry about earlier.”

I look up into Bram’s soft brown eyes and curse myself for internally melting at the sight of them. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sorry I didn’t knock first. That’s probably like, high school party 101.”

He chuckles and shrugs. “It’s fine, man. You seemed pretty drunk so I don’t blame you.”

“Yeah,” I laugh a little and Nick and Abby catch up to me. “I’m heading out now, but uh, thanks for inviting me.”

“No problem. Thanks for coming guys!” He smiles at me before walking away and striking up a conversation with another group. Abby leads the way as Nick and I follow her to Leah’s car which is pulled up to the driveway. As we pile in and the car starts to move, I glance back at the house.

I hate myself for so badly wanting him to be Blue even after tonight.


	2. The Best Kind of Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He smiles just a little at me and I’m surprised my knees don’t give out. I’m even more surprised when actual words come out of my mouth. “Hey Simon.”
> 
> After the Halloween party, Bram finds out what Garrett told Simon and works to fix everything, including Simon's hope. (Bram's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked and I listened. I know the last part ended pretty badly, but I appreciate every comment and kudos that I receive. I got some requests for another part where things end happily and I think you'll be glad to know that this is it! No sad ending this time. I promise. Happy reading :)

After the insanity that was last night, I’m grateful to get back into the swing of things. Today wasn’t weird or anything which was a relief; I sat with the usual group at lunch and got through my classes just fine. 

Simon did seem off though. 

He usually joins in with our conversations or at least listens on, but I noticed that he looked down at his food a lot more than he looked at any of us. I guess he’s just having an off day.

After school, I head to the locker room with Garrett and grab my soccer bag filled with my uniform, cleats, and socks that I should probably wash when I get home. We’re the first ones there, so I feel more comfortable changing than if it were filled with the whole team. Nick must be with Abby before her play rehearsal starts.

I pull my sweater off and replace it with a white long sleeve, slipping my jersey on over it.

“Is it still cold out there?” asks Garrett.

I laugh and nod while I step into my shorts. “Dude, it’s November.”

“Look, I’m hungover, don’t laugh at me.”

I shake my head. “I think half of the student body is hungover so that is not a very good excuse.”

He rolls his eyes and sits down on the bench across from me as I lace up my cleats. “So don’t kill me.”

I raise an eyebrow and laugh a little. “That is probably the worst way to start a conversation. What’d you do now? Confess your love to Nick?”

“What? No!”

“Whoa man, I’m just kidding.”

“Whatever, okay. So you know how Spier walked in on you and that chick making out?”

I finished tying my laces and furrowed my brows. “Yeah… “  
“Well, I’m kind of the reason he went up there in the first place.”

“What are you talking about? Did you tell him I was up there?”

“No, I didn’t. But I was so fucking drunk and didn’t know what I was saying and I might’ve let it slip that you have a crush on him and I’m sorry please don’t kill me.”

My eyes widen as I take a breath to keep the anger bubbling inside of me from escaping. Garrett is the only person I’ve come out to and the fact that he shared my biggest secret with the guy I have a crush on pisses me off. “You told Simon?”

I couldn’t be too harsh with him though, especially when I saw the guilty look on his face. He gulped and scratched behind his neck. “Yeah, I’m sorry, bro. You have every right to be pissed and I’ll even let you punch me in the face if you feel like it.”

I sighed and leaned back against the lockers. “I’m not going to punch you, Garrett. I’m just-” I pause. “Shit.”

“What?”

“Simon thinks I’m straight. Oh my God. That’s why he’s been avoiding me.”

“Shit, bro,” he said, understanding what I’m getting at. “He likes you too.”

Just then the whole team filed in and I stood up, walking out to the field. Garret followed behind me and Nick ran over to the bleachers a few seconds later. “What is up my dudes?”

Garrett stood up and stole Nick’s soccer ball from him. “So much, bro. So much is up.” 

Practice started, but my head was somewhere else. I went through the whole hour and a half with one thing on my mind: How am I going to tell Simon that I like him? 

When practice ended, I kicked a ball around with Garrett as Nick ran over to the stands and engulfed Abby in a sweaty hug. I heard her squeal and notice someone standing beside her. Simon.

I look at Garrett and he smiles, already knowing what I’m thinking. “Go get him, bro.”

I nod and kick the ball back to him. As I make my way over to Simon and Abby, I feel my palms getting clammy and my heart beat starting to increase. Jesus.

He smiles just a little at me and I’m surprised my knees don’t give out. I’m even more surprised when actual words come out of my mouth. “Hey Simon.”

“Bram!” he says excitedly while blushing slightly. “Hi.”

“Abby, do you mind if I steal him for a second?” 

She gives me a curious look before nodding. “Go for it.”

I lead him underneath the bleachers and can almost feel the nervousness radiating off of him. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to murder you.”

He laughs a little and rubs a hand over his forearm. “That’s a relief. So uh, what’s up?”

I let out a breath. “I just, okay. You know how Garrett was talking to you at the party?”

“Yeah. He was wasted. Wait, how do you know that?”

“He told me what he said to you.”

“Oh. I mean, he was drunk. Clearly he didn’t know what he was sa-”

“No,” I interrupt. “He did.”

His eyes got wide. “I don’t… what?”

God, he’s oblivious. It’s a good thing he’s cute. “I like you, Simon.”

“You… “

I take a step closer to him and notice his eyes scanning my face. “Garrett told you that I have a crush on you because I do. I like you, Simon. I’m gay.”

He looks like a deer in headlights, but if I’m being honest, maybe I threw too much at him all at once. He nods a little and I can tell that he isn’t really sure what to do with himself, so I take another step forward. 

“You like me? I like… gay, I mean. I’m gay too. I like you. Yeah.”

I smile and chuckle. “You’re cute. Oh, one more thing.”

He raises his eyebrows. “More? Damn, I feel like Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out any second now and tell me I’ve been Punk’d.” He smiles sheepishly. “Sorry. Go on.”

“This is probably self explanatory, but I’m Blue. From the emails.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “God, I was really hoping you would say that. I didn’t want to have to go home and deal with the awkwardness if you weren’t. Did you know you were talking to me?”

I shake my head and brush some loose curls back from his forehead, making him blush. “Not until yesterday. You gave some hints that I’m just now realizing, but when I saw the look on your face after you walked in on me at the party something clicked.”

“I always worried I was being too obvious. I had no freaking clue it was you. The only reason I went to find you was because I thought there was a small chance after what Garrett said. Sorry about that by the way.”

“You talk how you write,” I smile. “And don’t worry about it, Simon. I was drunk and confused and definitely didn’t enjoy it.”

“So it just confirmed everything?”

“When I imagined myself kissing you instead of her? Yeah, I’d say so.”

“Oh,” he breathed out, glancing down at my lips and returning his gaze to my eyes. 

I place a hand on his cheek and lean in to kiss him but pull back quickly when I hear Garrett calling for me. “Bro, we’ve gotta head out!”

Simon pouts and I worry that he might have heard my heart skip a beat. “But I wanted us to have our first kiss.”

“Hold on!” I yell back. “We still can.” The corners of his mouth turn up as I lean in again and connect my lips to his. He kisses me back and it’s better than I imagined.

After what feels like forever but wasn’t even a minute, we pull away at the same time. One of his hands is resting on my shoulder. “Your lips are really soft. They’re like clouds.”

I laugh and drop my hand to grab his which has been resting at his side. “Yeah?”

He nods and Garrett hesitantly turns the corner to where we are. “Bram? Is it safe to look?”

“No, let me get dressed first.”

“Whoa-”

“I’m kidding, idiot. You can look.”

He looks over at us and smiles. “You know I’m gonna make myself responsible for you two being a thing now.”

I shake my head and walk out from under the stands with Simon’s hand in mine. He seems anxious as he looks over at Nick and Abby, but when their jaws drop he smiles and waves to them with his free hand. 

We get in our separate vehicles and end up driving to WaHo. Leah joins us and sits next to Garrett with Abby and Nick across from her. Simon and I sit at our own table and neither of us stop smiling the whole night. We finally exchange numbers and I drop him off at his house.

“Today was crazy,” he says.

“Good crazy?”

“The best crazy.”

He leans over the center console when I pull up to his driveway and I turn my head to face him. He kisses me then pulls away and smiles. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

I nod and kiss his cheek. “See you tomorrow, Simon.”

He gets out of the car and shuts the door, walking inside his house. I smile out of my front windshield.

I found him.


End file.
